Half Acre Brewery #NotBrunch
Perhaps you have forgotten that we had a failed attempted to go on the Half Acre Brewery Tour this past winter, which led us to a brunch at Tweet. We showed up too late for the tour that time (it was snowin for godsakes!). However, we are not ladies to give up on the excuse to drink early in the morning. In case you haven’t met us:
After some coffee from Julius Meinl and some Jewel doughnuts, we got in line for the Half Acre Tour which starts at 11:00 AM. The deal with the tour is that for $10 admission you get 3 beers plus a Half Acre pint glass, but the catch is that they only let 60 people in, first-come-first-serve-style. If you want to get in, you gotta get there early and line up outside.
So it went down like this:
At about 10:05 there were clearly some groups of people circling the Half Acre entrance, but no one wanted to start the line cause is was cold in the shade that morning. After someone decided to start the line (approx. 10:10) all the vulture groups swooped into the line and our body temperatures immediately started to drop. The line got very long very fast after that, and we started to notice that we were… the only group of girls?
What the hell is that, man? We know there are more ladies out there that like day drinking AND craft beer! So what gives? You don’t need a man to like a good beer! </rant>
Ahem, anyway, at about 10:30 something started to happen. First- our hands were closing to freezing. Next – a large man in a silver hooded cape began to walk the line wordlessly handing out the (beautiful) tour tickets. It was way creepy… but in a funny way cause dude was wearing gym shoes that had to be like 4 years old. WITH THAT CAPE? Nuh-uh, girl.
We were then carded and herded into the building (which is not big). Everyone is handed a pretty pint glass (to keep!) with 3 little bottle caps which acted as tokens for each beer you get. Then it gets a bit weird. The tour goes directly into some wacky character performance which, admittedly, some people got a kick out of, but we were not having it #bitchface. Word on the street is that normally there is no hooded dude who hands out tickets or weird one man shows on the tour, but I guess we lucked out?
Be prepared that while this excursion is billed as a “tour” of the brewery, what we experienced on this particular day was really more of a lecture because the space is incredibly tiny, and our 60 person group just stood in the most open space sipping on our choice of brew listening to the [hot albino] tour guy (the one who thankfully was not in costume or putting on a weird act) talk about Half Acre’s history, beer-making process, etc. You may end up standing next to an exploding yeast bucket that is uncomfortably but intriguingly close. But seriously, this was not a tour at all. The most we got was background, Q&A, and pointing at things from a distance.
[Howe note- I’ve been told that other tours went around the place in depth and up to the second level. What the hell?]
a dad with a pretzel necklace who was LOVIN life, beer, some interesting facts and stories about the company, yeast bucket, albino cuties, getting p drunk early in the day, beer, cool art, the tap room next door, Chicago, beer, and eating doughnuts while loitering in a parking lot.
a million-billion couples, dumb questions, standing in the same spot for 3 beers, dad jokes, bros from all walks of life, still not fans of Daisy Cutter (we never have been, srrryyyy)
As if downing 3 beers at 11 in the morning wasn’t enough, we decided we needed more. So we moseyed on over to the tap room right next door. Crowd favorite was the Over Ale which is labeled as a “styleless wonder”: kinda dark and damn delicious. The tap room was cute and small, pretty crowded and filled with strollers.
At this point it was around 1 or 2 and all we had eaten that day was coffee, donuts, and beer. So after much deliberation about which fast food joint to hit up, we decided to seek our nourishment from Popeye’s. Dat spicy chicken doe.
Ended the day half passed out on Howe’s couch watching VH1 and chugging water so we would still be able to go out later that night and drink more cerveza. #classic