Guests: None! (back to basics)
“Welcome to Tweet, do you care to see our gluten free menu?”
HELL no, but we appreciate the offer.
We were all set for an early Saturday get together at a particularly boozy location, but our plans (and dreams) were crushed by a long line of overzealous beer enthusiasts. The three of us were not dressed or interested in waiting in the snow to go on a brewery tour, which is what we had originally planned, so we hit up our brunch backup plan: Tweet! (Existed before the social media craze began in case you were wondering).
Tweet was brought to our attention by Howe’s map app, but also by this Chicagoist article.
Tweet looks like a total sketch mystery on the outside – which is so very Uptown. After a huge parking struggle (wow thx sno) that resulted in a mini tour of Little Vietnam, we stepped into the bigger-than-it-looks-on-the-outside establishment. They immediately asked if we wanted the gluten free menu and we were like wuuut. As we sat down, before we even picked up the menus or met our waiter, the hostess who seated us served us these free little coconut cakes and poured us coffee. We were feeling like the Queen of England with this service.
On their website, Tweet describes the decor in their restaurant as “a jewel box of an interior,” and some of the artists featured on the walls are regulars of the restaurant. It is eclectic up in hurrr, in the best way tho. Walls full of frames, art deco furniture, and pillows in the booth/chairs.
Let it be known that this maybe the most extensive drink list that NJB has seen. Separate menu, covered front & back. Rotating craft beer list. Hot drinks. Light drinks. Multiple mimosa, Bloody Mary, and beermosa options. Tweet don’t fuck around.
B: got a Bloody Mary recommended by the waitress that had wasabi in it! Idk, i was in the mood for something a little different and this was definitely it. Who would ever put something like that in a bloody and who would ever think it would be so good? They also have a ton of other types of Bloody Marys, like one with Sriracha, and it was so big!
McD: Got the Devil in the White City, which was Intelligentsia coffee with Godiva chocolate, Jameson, and whipped cream. This sounds like a sugar fest, but it was surprisingly drinkable and not too sweet. Maybe because there was a shit-ton of Jameo? Whatever the case, it was delicious and inspired me to want to drink more whiskey in my everyday life. [Howe note- she had 2 shots of it later that night.]
Howe: Sassy Bitch. I didn’t choose this drink… it chose me. We share a bond that not everyone can understand. That being said, this thing was crazy sweet in a good way! Sugar rim, cause that is sass. But with a name like that you expect some real alcohol happening, and it was meh. (I know this is becoming a constant complaint lately… but c’mon y’all!) — When the waitress dropped it off she called it a “Sassy One,” lol nah.
Like the drink menu, the food menu was probably the most lengthy we have ever seen. It was filled with mostly natural and/or organic dishes. There were foldouts and add-on menus and wow.
Howe: Croissant Sandwich Platter. I wanted a breakfast sandwich very badly and this was about as close as I was going to get. Croissants are not my fave sandwich base, but this had so many cheeses to choose from! I chose goat cheese because that’s not common enough in the B-which scene. As B said: “the soft cheeses are underestimated in breakfast meals.” Anyway, this thing fell apart right away but was CRAZY delish. The entire platter was awesome, esp the fruit cup. Once more I must say… we came so close to a deluxe fruit cup.
B: Da Portland omelette, which I got cause i took that dumbass Buzzfeed quiz and it told me to move to Portland. And if Portland is full of omelettes like these: then It had EVERYTHING, cream cheese, bacon, tomatoes, human firehydrants, and I don’t know what else but the cream cheese was really perfect. The portions are also huge, and getting hash browns, a fruit cup and sliced tomatoes (instead of toast) made for a very full me by the end of brunch.
McD: Ordered the Santa Fe Special. It was 2 black bean patties topped with poached eggs and salsa verde, with a side of hashbrowns. Honestly, I had already had a big breakfast at home since our original plan had been to go on that brewery tour, so though it was pretty tasty I just didn’t think eating so many eggs in the course of 3 hours would be good for me, ya know? I’m no Ron Swanson. I think my ability to self control my eating may be growing! Those hash browns were perfection, though. Couldn’t resist eating every last bit of those puppies. It also came with a fruit cup which was served before the real meal came so you could eat it first–so thoughtful!
Even though we were pretty disappointed that we couldn’t go on our planned brewery tour, as Ron Swanson says, “There has never been a sadness that cannot be cured by breakfast food.” Even while we were still eating our food we were saying how we have to come back here. Not only because the menu is so large that we need to try more drinks and foods, but also because the service was great, atmosphere inviting, and prices reasonable, especially considering they use natural ingredients.
Generally speaking, Tweet has got it all: good and super friendly service, gluten free menus if you’re into that (and if you are sry, i dont want to be your friend [*unless you are gluten free for serious health reasons and not trendy diet reasons]), coconut cakes upon arrival to the table, and servers pouring your coffee before you can even figure out where to put the decorative pillow that is on your chair before you sit down.
-B thought it was v important to note how all the extras were laid out well on the side of the table for us before the meal started.
— Just a fun fact, their website was designed by Firebelly. Howe geeked.
On our walk back to the car, we noticed many streets being blocked off by cops and/or cop cars. McD being the Negative Nancy/Debbie Downer/etc she is, was concerned there had been something serious like a shooting or an armed robbery (Uptown yo). Lo and behold, it was actually a PARADE! The parade for Chinese New Year was just starting (and we didn’t know this was a thing because whitegirlmoment). But we didn’t have time to lollygag so we just watched a little and snapped some pics. Still a wonderful and unexpected surprise though, and much preferable to another Chicago shooting, amiright?
Highlight of the afties? Breakin’ the law and drivin’ the opposite way down a one way street because we are lawless and cRAzy (actually we had to do this because of all the blocked off streets and the cops told us to… but let us have this moment).
Lastly, B and McD went to Half Acre to fill up their growlers (okay okay, they were B’s brother’s and McD’s dad’s growlers). Is it some sort of prerequisite that you have to be good looking to work there because DAYUM. Let it be known that McD paid for her dad’s growler refill (Space in case you were wondering) and told him he does not have to pay her back the 15 bucks–true sign of adulthood.