Beauty & The Bongo Room

Restaurant: The Bongo Room
Neighborhood: Wicker Park
Guest: Maddy & Miss Elise
Missing: B (I had to go on a family ice skating trip and my personal hangover meter was HIGH, so I’m just as sorry as you are)

Bongo Room Coffee

Well, this was one of the most unexpectedly wonderful brunches.

To be completely honest, the beginning of the day was a bit of a fiasco. We woke up after a night of crazy karaoke and threw together some brunch plans, which is very unlike us. Maddy, who is gunning to become a permanent fixture of this blog, and her pal Miss Elise suggested we head to the Bongo Room in Wicker Park. After a quick Google it was obvious that we were crazy if we didn’t brunch here (how was this place not on our list!?). Our brunch partners arrived at the Bongo Room first to a 45+ minute wait and scrambled to pick a new location. We hadn’t been out during prime brunch time for a few weeks had forgot that sometimes you gotta deal with this shit. We decided to stick out the wait- or they waited while McD and Howe searched for parking for 20 min.

We just made the cut since they stop taking parties at 2pm on Sundays (shoutout to speed walking for getting us there in the nick of time). The four of us awkwardly stood in the packed front section of the Bongo Room for a while, dodging waiters, checking out the meals, and looking at all the beautiful boys (wow, there were so many tall, pretty guys – is this a thing?). All of us were focusing on a particularly handsome man in the back of the restaurant when Howe noticed a woman sitting in the corner. She looked SO pretty and very familiar. I, Howe, started asking if anyone else thought she looked like Dita Von Teese. Everyone agreed and that was that. But it was TOO WEIRD. She looked JUST LIKE HER. And that is because it was her. IT WAS FUCKING DITA. It became pretty obvious when she put on her movie star glam sunglasses and amazing black fur coat and left the building. Watching her cross Milwaukee with her high heels and hottie manfriend was like watching a feckin music video. Yes she always wears red lips! I was having a serious freak out and everyone else started to fan me.

Shortly after this, we got a table. Howe was riding a life high for the next half hour so brunch was a blur. As previously mentioned, the number of good-looking guys in this small restaurant was inexplicably great. Howe even said “The level of hotness is almost at 10!” Almost 10, people. Topics of conversation included: Dita and hot guys in beanies. “Hat selection is off the chain!” -another direct Howe quote from this day.

patrick bateman

To diverge from hot guys for a second (how many times are the words “hot” and “guys” in this post??) let us tell you a little story. Before we even ordered our food, we all noticed one man in particular at the bar with his girl. We all noticed this blonde fellow not because he was hot. Oh no. It was because he was creepy as shit. No, creepy is not a strong enough word. He was SCARY. He made intense eye contact with us behind his dark framed rectangular glasses while sporting a truly frightening half smile/smirk thing. Howe and McD were on the same wavelength because we both immediately thought of American Psycho. Blonde Patrick Bateman–those words alone send chills down your spine, no? This dude will definitely be appearing in my nightmares.

Drinks:rasberry mimosa

Cocktails all around! Everyone ordered one of their “Signature Sips,” three raspberry pear mimosas and one black raspberry and grapefruit mimosa. They were as tasty and refreshing as their titles make them sound. Though they are small and not very strong.


show stopper

Howe: went back to her roots and ordered the chocolate tower french toast in all its glory. It was basically a cake surrounded by pudding that is socially acceptable to eat for breakfast. The bread was baked with chocolate in it, then had glorious banana and chocolate pieces scattered atop it. I successfully got through ⅔ of this thing and everyone else sampled the leftovers as their dessert. We all raved for this dish. Seriously a crazy delicious plate of food and the sugar high I had paired well with my life high.

bongo room brunch menu

McD: ordered the Croissant Sandwich, which had egg, cheese, and perfect crunchy bacon with some deliciously seasoned house potatoes on the side. Definitely in the top 3 things I’ve had so far on the blog. That croissant was so flakey and buttery! I would have given 5 stars just for the croissant.

Maddy: I got the breakfast burrito, which was really good. Love the dill/whatever other spices are in their house potatoes. Although I must say I do prefer crunchier potatoes even if that means running the risk of a mouth injury (i.e. Miss Elise, Frasca Mishap 2013). The mimosa stole the show in my opinion (raspberry & pear) oh, and so did Dita Von Teese.

Miss Elise: Had the BLT Benedict, which seems to be my current brunch dish of choice. This one in particular is to die for! The bacon, lettuce and tomato puts this Benedict ahead of the rest! The proof is in the pudding: when Miss Elise is willing to wait an hour for brunch, you know it’s a good spot.

We must go back here very soon. And not just for the hot men. The food was superb, even though the wait really sucked (especially the lack of anywhere to wait without breathing down someone’s neck). One semi-strange note: there are large bowls on tables filled with butters and creams. Maddy took it upon herself to play two creams as bongos (clearly how they named this place) – and yes Maddy is a grown woman. Our waitress was nice and the food came fairly quickly after ordering. She split our check even though she shouldn’t have, bless you child.

Look, we know this blog is called “Not Just Bunch” but we’ve been slacking on the afties lately. We swear our next post will have some goodies.

Most of our Sunday was spent driving and freaking out and waiting. After this epic brunch we all went to our respective homes to independently reflect on the day (Howe and McD did have a Starbucks detour in which black ice caused us to nearly fall on our asses multiple times). #ChiTownProblems

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